Back Pain and Wrong Turns

Darla has accused me of sugar coating some of these newsletters.

First of all, DARLA, you aren’t even on the subscriber list so I don’t know where you are getting your information.

Second of all, no one wants to read about the pokey grass and pebbles that stick to your shoes and then come on into the RV like little hitchhikers where they wait for you to get out of bed at night to sneak into the tiny potty room and try not to wake everyone up. Then they poke your bare feet and climb on into bed with you because, hey! Isn’t this a great family trip? Let’s bond even harder. And now your bed is like a sandbox at the bottom, but no big deal since you can’t sleep anyway with all of the weird sounds and hey. Did someone just fart? Geeeeeeza boloni!

Or maybe you do want to read about that stuff.

Then today is your lucky day, friends. I have some serious perimenopausal hormones raging through my bloodstream and I’m ready to let it rip!

Buckle up.

A couple of days ago I washed all of our linens and did some general tidying. When I was putting sheets back on our bed I guess I tweaked my lower back. This was the day after my 2 hour bike ride with Noli; but I think it’s unrelated. It was also one of the only days I haven’t done yoga. Which seems like a cruel coincidence.
All of this to say, when we were planning our trip today I requested to ride in the bed in back of the RV. Usually the kids lay back here and stare at their phones.

But, not today bitches! Today I’m back here lying flat with my music on watching the tan fields go by in the window at my feet.

There’s got to be a fire somewhere; the air is so hazy, hot, and miserable. And this is about the 42nd time I’ve wished for a google app to show me where the fires are. (Top 3 signs the world is ending)

Before we left this morning, I told the boys to get Jeff anything he needs while he’s driving, usually my job. I found an RV park where we’ll stay tonight and came back here to get some relief for my aching back.

After over an hour of driving, we pulled into a Fred Meyer to get some groceries. Jeff came back to ask me the address of the RV park which would be our next stop, and that’s when he realized we were meant to go through Idaho Falls, not Twin Falls.

We were about 90 minutes South instead of due East. Talk about a wrong turn! Jeff was pretty disheartened to say the least. But we are back on the road and we’ll get groceries later.

Maybe this will all be part of a funny story one day and we’ll tell our different versions. Or, maybe we’ll totally forget about it before we even get back home because of all the fun we’ve had.

Right now it feels crappy and it doesn’t help that there seems to be a roto-tiller scraping through my uterus. My body carries on; I still have my baby-card. As if, after spending these months in quarantine with teenagers I would ever, EVER again try to create a human life. Ha!

So please don’t send me your cheerful advice and words of encouragement. I don’t want to be consoled. I know it’s about 115 degrees where you are, too. So why don’t we all just agree to be grumpy today?


This installment brought to you by Advil and the Amy Winehouse channel.

PS- We’ll be in Grand Teton and Yellowstone National parks this week with no service or Wifi.

PPS- Thank you Mark, for the kind birthday gift. It is coming in handy.

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Shannon Driskill

Shannon Driskill

I make a mean martini; am often reading; and usually thinking about my relationships, my teenagers and how I’m probably messing them up.